Letters to Scorpius
by DragonCastle
Summary: In which Scorpius helps his father woo Hermione Granger. Epilogue compliant.


A/N: Supposed to be something I will enter in an LJ fest but life got in the way. Oh well.

I've always loved epilogue compliant D/Hr stories.

* * *

November 8

Dear Father,

Enclosed is the photo Mother sent me with her new husband in their honeymoon in Jamaica.

School has been annoying. Terrence Flint has been pestering me to get those brand new Cleansweep Fifteen brooms at a discounted price for the whole Slytherin team. For the love of Circe, I am the son of the Minister of Magic, not a broom salesman!

On a lighter note, Rose told me you had dinner with her mum the week before school started. She's glad that her mother is now dating a year after the divorce. Splendid. Keep on doing that, father. I would really like a brother or sister to train and mold to my perfect image.

Cordially,

Scorpius

* * *

November 10

Dear Scorpius,

Your mother has already sent me a copy of the photo so you may keep this one. I'm sending Attila back with it to you. I do not need two reminders that my wife divorced me only to be re-married to Gregory Goyle of all people.

I see that Terrence Flint is as insufferable as his father. Do remind him of his place in Slytherin. Surely, you don't need a father with the title of Minister to do that. The Malfoy name should be more than enough.

I would appreciate it if you stop gossiping like old housewives with Rose Weasley. That is not something you should do with a girl you plan to pursue in the future.

How dare you order me around? Insolent boy.

Yours,

Father

* * *

November 13

Dear Father,

Insolence, I've learned from the best. Grandfather Lucius have told me stories of your teenage years, you know.

Really, father. Are you implying that I have a crush on Rose Weasley? The closest to family that I would tolerate her is as a stepsister. Lily Potter, on the other hand, is a different story.

And, really, would you want me to pursue Rose Weasley when you so obviously want to go after her mother? No, no, no. That would be frowned upon by society. Which brings me to this. You are making progress with Hermione, I hope? Rose told me she dated that 'dunderhead Quidditch player', as she so kindly put it, last week. McLaggen, I think, was his name.

By the way, I've decided to name the baby Aquila for a girl and Cepheus for a boy. I hope you don't mind.

Cordially,

Scorpius

* * *

November 15

Dear Scorpius,

What is this sudden interest with siblings? And if ever I decide to have more children, I am the one to decide their names, not you. Though, Aquila and Cepheus do have a nice ring to them.

So you do have a crush on the Potter girl. I knew it. Her father will hear about this. Scorpius, you are in deep trouble. Though, I might conveniently forget to report you if you stop meddling with my relationship with Hermione.

Deeply Annoyed,

Father

* * *

November 16

Dear Father,

Aha! So you do admit that there's a relationship!

I don't care if you tell Mr. Potter, by the way. He already knows.

Rose wants me to tell you that her mum's favorite flowers are, surprise, surprise, roses.

Cordially,

Scorpius

* * *

November 18

Scorpius,

One more word on this matter and I'm disinheriting you.

Father (but for how much longer?)

* * *

November 19

Father,

As if you could. Unless you start producing more heirs. *wink wink*

Your son,

Scorpius

* * *

November 19

Scorpius,

Yes, of course, my dear boy. I absolutely cannot wait to have more children as wonderful and perfect as you are.

Yours,

A-Father-Who's-Going-To-Cut-Your-Allowance-In-Half

* * *

November 23

Dearest Father,

I am deeply moved that you have finally recognized your son's greatness.

No worries, though. Mother sends me more than enough pocket money. You can keep your galleons for your dates with Hermione.

On another note, have you seen the latest issue of Witch Weekly (Before you say anything, the copy was Lily's)? I'm attaching a clipping of an article to you and all I have to say is: You should fire the people in charge of your mail.

Scorpius

 **MINISTER OF MAGIC MALFOY DATING!**

By Lavender Brown

"Of course, I have heard for some time that he was seeing someone." Said informant (who shall be kept unnamed for security purposes).

The informant discloses that Draco Malfoy, Minister of Magic, Witch Weekly's Most Eligible Bachelor for three times in a row, and may I add, recently divorced, is ready to have more children.

In verbatim, the minister was quoted saying to his son, Scorpius Malfoy: "I absolutely cannot wait to have more children as wonderful and perfect as you are."

Obviously, the Malfoys have an unexpectedly sweet relationship towards each other as shown above. It could be inferred that this relationship is extended towards Minister Malfoy's new beau since he talks so freely with his son about having children with her.

Are we hearing wedding bells in the near future? And who is the lucky witch who has snagged our dashing Minister's heart? Stay tuned in this column to find out!

* * *

November 30

Dearest Father,

I heard a certain Parvati Patil was sacked this week. I never did like your secretary, you know. She eyes you too much. Like you're a meal. That wouldn't bother me at all, only I look too much like you and she eyes me the same way.

I still shiver at the thought.

Lovingly,

Scorpius

P.S. And for the love of Merlin, stop acting like a child and return my owls!

* * *

November 30

Scorpius,

How dare you talk to your father that way.

Father

* * *

December 1

Father,

It's not my fault Hermione refuses to talk to you. You are the one who was careless with our correspondence.

Anyway, it's not like names were dropped in the article or anything. Hermione's private life is still very much private.

Scorpius

* * *

December 2

Scorpius,

You try telling that to her. She acts like what we had was one big fat secret that was suddenly aired out in the open.

Bloody bint refuses to talk to me.

Father

* * *

December 5

Father,

Rose says she would appreciate it if you stop calling her mother bloody anything. She said that as future stepdaughter, she is concerned about the state you would be in if her mother finds out you're calling her names.

I must say I agree, Father. Calling a woman names is such dishonorable conduct unbecoming of a Malfoy patriarch. I have taken it upon myself to correct your less than savory condition.

I have spoken with Hermione yesterday, which is a Hogsmeade weekend before you ask. Such a delightful lady, and I bet would be make a much more delightful stepmother. After some imploring, she agreed to meet with you tomorrow evening in that new Italian place in Diagon Alley.

Scorpius

P.S. You owe me one.

* * *

December 5

Scorpius,

YOU BLOODY HELL DID WHAT?

What is the matter with you young people getting entangled with the love lives of your parents? Is this a new trend nowadays?

Father

P.S. Thank you.

* * *

December 7

Father,

Apparently, you still haven't learned your lesson on keeping your comings and goings discreet.

Witch Weekly is having a field day.

Scorpius

 **MINISTER'S MYSTERY WOMAN NO LONGER A MYSTERY!**

By Lavender Brown

A week after the explosive news on the Minister of Magic's dating status, Witch Weekly insiders have spied the aforementioned Minister in Belladonna's, Diagon Alley out apparently on a date with his new beau. The new beau's name? Are you ready for this Wizarding World?

Wizarding World, we give you Hermione Granger.

Yes you read that right, dear readers. Hermione Granger, the brainy third of the Golden Trio, war heroine, recipient of Order of Merlin First Class and recently divorced with ex-husband Ronald Weasley is currently dating Minister of Magic, heir of Malfoy fortune, and also recently divorced with a certain Astoria Greengrass, Draco Malfoy.

Being someone who went to school with these two, I could most definitely say that this was an unexpected match. Childhood enemies, opposite sides of the war, pureblood and muggleborn, these two seem to be on opposite poles. Despite Minister Malfoy's graceful ascension to the Wizarding World's most respected ranks after the Malfoy name's plummet after the war, the two still remained at the very best aloof acquaintances. In the public eye, that is.

 _(continued in page 15)_

* * *

December 10

Father,

This is getting old. You can't ignore me every time you and Hermione get into a fight.

Scorpius

* * *

December 10

Scorpius,

I can and I will.

Father

* * *

December 11

Father,

Really, Father? How childish can you get?

Scorpius

* * *

December 11

Scorpius,

Don't talk to me that way. Such impertinence. And for the record, this whole fiasco is your fault.

Father

* * *

December 12

Father,

My fault? You're the one who's rubbish with keeping your mail private.

Scorpius

* * *

December 12

Scorpius,

And how did you know it was MY mail getting tampered with? How sure are you that it wasn't your end of the correspondence that's getting leaked?

Father

* * *

December 13

Father,

Maybe because I burn my letters right after reading them. You should try it and not simply chuck your mail to the wastepaper basket.

Scorpius

* * *

December 15

Dearest Father,

I'd like to make it known that I am inviting a few guests to France for our Yule celebrations with Grandfather and Grandmother.

Scorpius

* * *

December 15

Scorpius,

Who are you bringing? Your girlfriend, Potter's spawn?

Father

* * *

December 15

Father,

I would deeply appreciate if you stop calling Lily that.

And no, it isn't her as they have plans to visit Mr. Potter's muggle cousin this Yule.

I'm not bringing my girlfriend, Father. I'm bringing yours, so please clean up your act already.

Scorpius

P.S. Consider this your Christmas present

* * *

December 16

Scorpius,

How you got her to agree to that when she doesn't even want to breathe the same air as I do is beyond me.

Also, why do I need to clean up my act when my son could clean my mess for me? What better use for children, don't you think?

Father

P.S. I'll pick up the four of you at King's Cross Station tomorrow at 11 in the morning. (I'm assuming Rose and Hugo are coming as well to spend the holidays with their stepfather?)

* * *

December 20

Father,

So happy that things with Hermione, I mean Mum, seem to be on the mend. Hugo tells me he caught the two of you snogging under the mistletoe. As glad as I am that the two of you have patched up, I'm gladder that I did not get to witness your manifestation of 'patching up' in person. Get a room.

Here's a little something from Grandmother. She wanted to give it to you in person, but was unsure of how to do so discreetly.

Scorpius

* * *

December 20

Scorpius,

For the life of me, I cannot begin to understand why you send me letters when we live under the same roof.

A ring? What am I supposed to do with a ring?

Father

* * *

December 20

Father,

Well father, when a man and a woman love each other they do something that grown-ups usually do to show their love.

THEY GET MARRIED.

Really, though, I think Grandmother is more anxious for more little Malfoys than I am. It makes me feel unwanted…

Scorpius

P.S. How do you suggest I talk to you in secret about Mum if not through letters, hm?

P.P.S. Grandfather wants to talk to you. Ten galleons says it's to urge you to speed things up with Mum.

* * *

December 23

Father,

I see you got Witch Weekly an early Christmas present.

Scorpius

P.S. Your Stunning Spell is not strong enough. Care for lessons?

 **MINISTER MALFOY AND HEALER GRANGER ENGAGED!**

By Lavender Brown

Wizarding World, we have always given you the newest development on the Malfoy-Granger love affair, and now here it is still hot from the oven! Sources (unnamed for security purposes) tell us that the Malfoys have included Hermione Granger and her two children to their annual Yuletide celebrations in their French villa. As if this is not enough meat on its own, Witch Weekly photographers have also caught the couple out on dates all over the city! _(pictures on page 12)_

Most notable, however, is their outing in a secluded park where Minister Malfoy have set-up a lovely outdoor picnic complete with a fireworks display to cap off the night. Specifics of said date, however, was not documented as our photographer was unfortunately hit by a stray Stunning Spell. Our photographer, however, recovered just in time to girlish squeals of 'Yes!' and manage to snap pictures of our beloved Minister down in one knee, proposing to the woman he loves. _(pictures on page 14)_

* * *

December 23

Scorpius,

I don't need lessons from you and my Stunning Spell is just fine, thank you very much. It's not my fault that I was distracted by a very beautiful woman standing in front of me wearing that scrap of cloth you and Rose have apparently forced her in.

It was a lovely dress, though. Ruining it was a bit of a shame.

Father

* * *

December 23

Father,

Too much information.

Scorpius


End file.
